Hah! If you’re offended by “blue” language and viciously personifying inanimate objects, read no further.

terrible divorce with my Giant XTC 2 – $750 (Cabbagetown)

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Date: 2010-06-29, 11:07PM EDT

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Me – We need to talk
ME – I… I don’t think we should see each other anymore

XTC = What! Why?

ME – It’s not you, I swear.

XTC – I’m too big… that’s it isn’t it!

ME = no, not at all… Hell, I’m 6′. technically I’m too big for you.

XTC – Is it my shifters? You don’t like the Deore’s anymore…

ME – No! I’m telling you it’s me, you’re perfect. You ride better than any other bike

XTC – What!!! you ass hole! you’ve been riding other bikes!
XTC – god I can’t believe you!

ME – Yes, ok I admit it! you’re just too… hybrid for me.

XTC – Her shocks are bigger aren’t they.

ME – god dammit, can we not… please.

XTC – I hate you. As soon as I find someone new I’m leaving.

ME – hahaha, don’t make me laugh, what are you gunna do, post a classified on Craigslist?

…. … … …

Fuck you Giant.XTC 2…. I hate you… even though we were only together for less than a year, you let me ride you maybe 10 times! you suck. I never want to see you again.
Here are all the naked pictures I have of you… I hope everyone see’s what a skank you are.
slut
pickup only

Via Todd Tyrtle and Bikeroo